Traveling with a spouse or partner is one of the many joys in life and with the limited vacation time most dual-working couples get, coordinating time off schedules is essential. However what if your partner gets three weeks off from work each year (for example) but you only receive two? Would you feel cheated if your spouse used their extra (more than you) vacation days to book a solo trip or getaway with friends, leaving you behind to continue working for a living?
It does not matter whether you recently changed jobs, work in an industry that offers meager benefits, or simply haven’t worked long enough to get more than the minimum amount of paid time off. The issue of fairness and wishing to spend more free time with your partner is important to your relationship. To help remedy this common problem, consider the following ways to address Vacation Inequity and bring about Vacation Fairness between you and your spouse or significant other.
1. Use company paid holidays as additional vacation days
For the situation where your spouse or partner has an additional week or two of vacation above and beyond what you earn at work, consider leveraging paid holidays to virtually make up the difference. On average employees in America receive between 8 and 11 paid holidays per year, the higher number more typical of U.S. and state government employees. While your partner also receives a similar set of paid holidays, making up for fewer vacation days by thinking of holidays as true vacation days can help you feel like you have just earned just as much. This option is best for those that prefer to travel during holiday periods and long weekends in order celebrate and spend more time with family.
What to do? Allocate five or more official company holidays as vacation days by simply calling them “Fixed Vacation Days” instead of paid holidays. A floating holiday or personal day if offered can also be added to your totals. Mark these days on your paper or online calendar as such and schedule your paid vacation time during these weeks. You will feel like you have an additional week or more of vacation each year, making it seem more equitable between you and your partner.
As for what your spouse or partner should do with their additional vacation days that will be leftover, read on to #2.
2. Have your partner take their extra vacation days in single day increments throughout the year
As you schedule vacation time and utilize paid holidays for vacation purposes, your partner will still be left with “extra” vacation days that are above and beyond what you actually earn each year. Since you want to take time off from work fairly and travel together as much as possible, I recommend that your partner take leftover vacation days in one day increments. They should consult their HR handbook and talk with their manager to make sure single day usage is allowed and how much notice is required. By taking an occasional (extra) day off over an extended period of time, you (the one with less paid vacation) will not feel as cheated by the otherwise lack of Vacation Equity.
What to do? Ask your partner to take a day or two off each month throughout the year to be used for both relaxation and to help you (the one that is vacation challenged) out. Suggest they commute with you to your workplace to grab coffee together before you start your day or meet them for lunch near your office. Ask them to run a few errands and handle household chores while you are working to relieve some of the burden from you having to work more. And if your partner is smart they certainly won’t keep reminding you that they have more vacation days or they might be traveling alone next time
3. Request additional unpaid vacation days off from work
For those of you committed to taking as much time off as possible each year for family, travel, and enrichment (the VacationCounts way), find out if your employer is willing to offer unpaid time off. Every employer and workplace is very different and your exact job responsibilities might make this easy or near impossible. Are you a valued employee that rarely takes a sick day, puts in longer hours, and gets work done consistently? If so you have a good chance of convincing your boss to grant “extra vacation days” which will be unpaid, therefore it will not have a noticeable financial impact on the business.
What to do? Consider your job performance, daily responsibilities, work habits, and relationship with your employer and use that as input for your “Unpaid Time Off Request” proposal. Document your request including the number of days, what time of year you plan to take them, and how you will handle your work responsibilities while away. When you are ready, meet with your manager or HR representative to present a clear-cut case of why you are making this request (mention your partner’s greater vacation benefit as the primary cause), how your past performance makes it feasible to take additional time off, and the lack of financial and productivity impact to all.
4. Find a job with better vacation policy
The ultimate way to equalize paid time off (PTO) between a dual-working couple is for the one with the worse vacation policy (and no improvement in sight) to get a new job. Negotiating to receive better vacation benefits is very possible after you have secured a job offer and are in a position to ask for additional pay OR better benefits. When vacation is your top priority, forgo the additional salary and make it clear to your employer that adequate time off to spend with your friends and family and pursue your outside interests (whatever that might be) is essential to your happiness in work and in life. This is the time to mention exactly how many vacation days your spouse or partner earns annually . Your goal is to get your new employer to match this vacation benefit from day one or as of the start of the next calendar year or accrual period.
What to do? Start searching for a new career opportunity today by scanning the online job postings which mention vacation and time off policy. Also talk to your professional network on LinkedIn or at local meet-ups and industry networking events to gather some real numbers about their own vacation benefits. While it may not be appropriate to ask a peer their salary, it is certainly fine to ask how many paid vacation days they receive each year, roll-over policy, and the number of years of service before they move up a notch.
Bonus Tip: When you are ready to accept a new job offer with greater vacation time, negotiate for a later start date. This will enable you to vacation for a week or two in between to make the transition easier and enjoy equitable time off with your partner.
As you can tell from this blog post my wife and I appreciate the chance to take vacations together and value having matching vacation benefits offered at work. This makes the work-life-vacation balance fair to both of us now and throughout our careers. Remember this advice next time you seek a new career opportunity and make it a goal to always seek Vacation Equity between you and your partner.
Happy Traveling…
-Scott
